I grew up with my Dad as an OFW. At most, his vacations last 4 months and at the very least, his stay abroad can last 6 months. When I was younger, it was difficult for me to understand why he had to leave. But as I grew older, I got accustomed to my Dad not being here. But little did I know that his absence would lead to implications I had yet to discover. As the eldest among our siblings, I was used to bossing them, telling them what to do; but little did I realize that I had to stand in my father’s shadow while he was away. My Mom did everything she could in order to be both a mother and father figure to us, but I knew that she couldn’t do it alone. And so I did what I could in order to be another parent figure to my younger siblings: someone they can lean on to, someone they could depend on, and someone to discipline them as well. As a sibling, it is important to make them feel like you’re at their level, but as the eldest, they must also learn to respect you.
In our Filipino culture, we value our family the most. However, circumstances lead to situations in a less ideal setting, where one or both parents are away, or when children live independently from their parents. In the case of the former, it is important to realize how family dynamics are affected when one parent leaves; who will then uphold the responsibility of the absentee parent? How will it affect the relationship of the children with each other? With their parents? In this way, it tests the fraternal and parental bond and compensates for whatever is lacking. Based on experience, it creates a stronger bond between the family members despite the distance between them. That’s why I believe that distance should not be a hindrance in continuing to create a harmonious relationship in the family. No matter what the circumstance, families must always find opportunities to spend time with each other whether online but more importantly, in person. Distance creates obstacles but does not necessarily impede in the development of a close family relationship.
I’ll admit that it almost cannot be helped that some family members will feel “incomplete” when their parents or siblings are away, but being a “complete” family does not mainly comprise of a family being all together in close proximity; more than that, it is founded on unconditional love for each other, and constant understanding of each other, recognizing that each member has his own share of difficulties and problems that they are all prepared to face together.
GillsThoughts 